INFJ’s feel very misunderstood growing up. In fact, it is as if you don’t grow out of that teenage phase. The language patterns of INFJ children tend to stand out from the crowd. They talk about goals. They use phrases such as legacy and infinity. It’s a little like listening to a buzz light year.
They are often mistrusted by their peers due to their vast insights and how much they can see is going on with the people around them. They can be seen to be too serious, intense and wishing to get to close to people. Others around them lack the adult maturity to want to know people as deeply. Often the actions of INFJ people are misinterpreted as more than friendship.
INFJ’s want to do more in the world. They find it very hard to pick a job. They just know they want to make changes wherever they go. I’m reminded of the career advice in Harry Potter’s Hogwarts. Hermione can’t find a “job” she wants amongst all the leaflets. She wants to do more such as taking her elf welfare rights further.
All this not fitting in leaves INFJ’s open to being bullied, not only by their peers, but by those adults that should be helping them to develop. To be bullied is a common theme amongst INFJ’s.
I think many find solace in some books. I found this hard personally because I didn’t read at an early age and couldn’t read books to match my age.
Many INFJ’s have been leant a book by someone and that turns out to be a profound turning point or they finally meet someone else such as themselves. It’s like a massive eureka moment.
It’s always been a big question as to why those who should be helping us to grow end up thwarting us instead. I thought first of all that this was just my misfortune as a result of my dyslexia. It was often felt that I was trying to do more and go beyond where I should be. For example, my memory of my first day of secondary school was a public row in front of my whole English class with the remedial teacher as I refused to leave honours English for “veggie” English class. But by then I had decided I was going to university and honours English was a requirement.Personally, the two things I always gravitate back to are Fannie Flagg books and Harry Potter. Harry Potter is one of the few fictional stories that contains INFJ characters.
I guess it is odd for a 12-year-old to know what they want to do and to stand up for it? Or to know what the university requirements were, especially since I would be the first in my family to continue in education. Or maybe to feel that even though I had not read a book yet by myself that I didn’t feel that still nothing was beyond me?
I guess INFJ’s suffer from the idea that the pupil has grown bigger than the teacher. Hence, it is very important to me that you can never grow to “big” or too successful in all the people that we mentor.
Jealousy seems to be a feature that is directed towards INFJ people. This is very hard to comprehend as it is not an element that we ever posses ourselves. But all of the INFJ people that I know suffer from large quantities of jealousy and bullying from other people, especially earlier in life before they learn to pick their friends more carefully. We tend to be so accommodating to other people and have the ability to step into their shoes and show such empathy that we can be left feeling when we are younger that we are at fault. We learn to be more self-preserving as we grow older. It’s like we learn that we can’t fix or save everyone.
We have boundless energy which can either set people off seeming too intense and hyper. Where many others will walk across the room to find out what it is that is drawing them to you. Many of our clients talk about our energy. When other INFJ people find each other it tends to be a little like a honing beacon. We also seem to posses piercing eyes. Often blue in colour.
22 seems to be a very pivotal age for us. I’ve come to imagine it as not a butterfly but a rather energetic creature emerges in full to take on the world and make our unique impact.
Dr. Naoisé O’Reilly,
I have had a gut feeling over the last number of years that it makes no sense to me when I am contacted to take on cases with both a diagnosis of A.S. and A.D.H.D. For me it has felt like 'oil and water don’t mix.'
Over the last 6 years I have evaluated all the new students and clients of all ages spanning 5 to 75 years. I now see many strikingly clear patterns that explain my earlier feelings logically.
The first important point is that all A.D.H.D. students, regardless of age, exhibit what I see as multiplicity. This is the ability to take in information in all 4 learning styles. I wrote an article on this in 2012 when I first saw clearly why so many of the students who come to us struggle in conventional school. They simply don’t get to learn the material in enough different ways simultaneously and they get bored! It’s worth noting that we have never had a diagnosis of A.D.H.D. in any of our learning environments and that we don’t ever see the tell tale effects of A.D.H.D. behaviour. Another scary fact is that in conventional education we start to lose multiplicity from the age of 10 and in many cases it is gone completely by 15 - without intervention. We become the linear thinking people the system has created.
I recorded a short video introduction to A.D.H.D. and behavioural effects we see including Diffuse Focus™ where our attention is always being dragged away to hide what we can and cannot really do.
So, where A.D.H.D. students show multiplicity - A.S. students are slightly more linear and show a very different set of Purple Processing Scales™. These are the scales I have developed to understand how we take in information from our world and how we process the information to retain it.
There are marked differences in the visual and auditory Purple Processing Scales™ for Dyslexia Spectrum, A.D.H.D., A.S. and so on.
I have always felt that there is a 'lost in translation' element to A.S. You ask a question and get a very different answer from the one you are expecting because the question has been interpreted completed differently.
You have never met a quiet A.D.H.D. student and you seldom meet what is viewed as a disruptive A.S. one. A.D.H.D. students tend to be remarkably good at presentation and general chat, whereas A.S. students tend to be very quiet and reserved - until they find their confidence or their subject.
Auditory learners don’t just need to learn by listening - they also have to talk out the ideas and ask endless questions - hence they are often seen as chatterboxes in school.
This means that A.D.H.D. students naturally have a form of self-expression. Whereas A.S. students, with their different Auditory profile, can lack self-expression. This is why it is so important for us to help these students to write their inner thoughts and ideas. A.S. students can be seen to have such whacky ideas that their writing is not always received well in response to conventional school work and they can lack structure. Also, A.S. students, before they gain confidence, can appear to give you the answer in the shortest number of words - which matches their confidence in speech. We have developed ways to overcome these traits very quickly. Ironically, A.S. people can go on to be amazing writers - and with certain use of their Purple Processing Profile they can learn to spell much easier than people on a pure Dyslexic spectrum! Of course, there are many people coming to us that have an Auditory Processing Disorder (A.P.D.) who are wrongly diagnosed altogether. Understanding personality of course plays a vital role in all of my work. I don't think it is possible to separate out understanding of personality and understanding of processing. You have to look at both together. This is why at all of my initial sessions I am creating a profile for both, Purple Profiling™.
So, I was correct 6 years ago - there is a world of difference between an A.S. and A.D.H.D. diagnosis and they don't have the same Purple Processing Scales™ - which I have now proven! Expression is key to all of our successes.
Dr. Naoisé O'Reilly, Expression Developist™.
P.S. For the record, I don't even believe that Aspergers and A.D.H.D. exist in the ways the establishment view them. My new challenge is to start debunking these areas in 2015!
(Extracts from Dr. O’Reilly In Conversation with Marie O’Riordan - November 14th 2014).
Opening with “My dream is to make the world a better place which means embracing academia and scientific research,” Dr. Naoisé O’Reilly outlined how she is doing just that.
“In 6 years spent in a vacuum quietly developing psychological success systems, I took the chalice of work by Carl Jung, Isabel Briggs Myers/Katharine Cook Briggs, David Keirsey and Maria Montessori, further developing it into the ground breaking system, Purple Success®, I have categorized people in new ways, not simply based on who they are and their temperaments. Jung and Myers/Briggs obsessed over who we are. I, on the other hand, obsess over who people need to be - the best of themselves for the betterment of all mankind - categorizing them based on how quickly they can obtain their desired results and the environment needed to achieve this.
“Surprisingly, Marie O’Riordan and I are only the 4th group to impact specific areas of psychology in a century which makes it very difficult to explain exactly what we do as we have rewritten a hundred years of psychology”, Dr. O’Reilly added.
“My aim when we started was to take literacy and intelligence out of the same sentence. You see, people can’t believe that, although I couldn’t stand up and read aloud to you, I have attained the academic results I have. This is why I call myself an Expression Developist™, having discovered a way to express myself so the world finally takes me seriously. Thankfully, Marie can read and talk for days!”
“I’m often asked how our work differs from that of other pioneers. Simply put, our methods produce results fast, we concentrate on each client’s individuality rather than them functioning as a cog in a system and we build up each person to work at higher levels than they imagined possible, usually independent of large organizations.”
“Our aim for our clients is ‘superhero’ levels of success, becoming top in their fields at rocket speed. We are totally inclusive, our clients ranging in age from babies to those in their 70s and we don’t care whether someone’s had several marriages or careers, or never been able to read, write or even talk. Our methods work with everyone.”
“When asked what I do, I worry my answer might sound portentous but, although I’m not one to dominate conversations, when I answer there’s always a genuine interest in finding out even more about psychology.”
“I have developed unique new profiling methods, applicable not just to personality types but also to differing learning styles, to understand how people process information from the world around them and how they need to think. These are distinct ways of viewing life events and timelines in order to break negative patterns, not just in their lifetime, but right across generational blueprints, which is another reason why this body of research is unparalleled.”
Dr. O’Reilly continued, “I now fully understand how humans develop as people. Interestingly, our work over the last 6 years has freed clients from the stifling structure and behaviour patterns of others, enabling them to grow and build on what has happened in their families and environments before them.”
Continuing the conversation, Dr. O’Reilly added, “I was obsessed with taking an individual to success not only by understanding the individual but also the effects of everyone else around them, teaching them how to cope and succeed regardless of internal and external factors.”
“The wonderful fact is that no challenge is too great. My team and I can now teach completely illiterate children to read and write in just 4 hours. I have lost count of the number of ‘A’s that have been achieved by students who, just like me, were written-off. We flicked a switch in their heads enabling sustainable success for all.”
“Marie and I create environments where everyone succeeds, whether they’re teams, companies, students or teachers. With our help, sports people have won the ultimate ‘gold’ at World Championships in record time, along with many more sporting titles. Family businesses have gone from bust to making millions of dollars within days. It doesn’t matter what the goal is, it can be achieved fastest using our psychological methods.”
“We have worked with thousands of people both within our custom-built facilities and all around the world. We don’t see dyslexia, ADD, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome, audio processing disorders and so on as barriers because, with us, everyone works in their own individual optimum way. This simply does not happen in regular systems and this is the reason why our results are truly outstanding. We’ve proved our theories by discovering the keys and methods needed for individual success.”
Dr. O’Reilly concluded by saying, “I see endless possibilities for the world with these methods.”
In February 2009 I started a school, The Homework Club® as what I saw as my lab space in order to develop new teaching methods and understanding of learning. Since then through a number of projects these are the methods and theories that I have developed:
Purple Learning Project®: Understanding of setting up educational environments for all and working simultaneously with all learning styles, difficulties and conditions in the same room.
Purple Profiling™: Unique profiling methods to understand all learners and work effectively with them in the shortest time possible. Now expanded to all business employees and business situations. Focus is on success for each person.
Purple Development™: New development theory to understand patterns in education and to change the Educational Blueprint™. From this a new approach to education and a new focus on expression was developed, Expression Developist™.
The Periodic Table of the Development of Results™, Purple Success™: New unique method and theory to understand the individual elements to get successful results with all ages and individuals in the shortest time possible. Applied at all levels in education and all sized companies, situations and individuals globally.
Purple Processing Scales™: Understanding the individual learning styles and how they work in different situations. Which has lead on to a theory, The Pressure Cooker Effect™.
Purple Success Timescale™: Theory of the development moments in individuals from Child to Adult and their significance in dealing with situations. How Successful You Feel for Life™.
Diffuse Focus™: A new theory on the reasons behind ADD and ADHD. How to develop a new learning approach to accommodate these.
Forget Phonics Reading Method™: A new approach to teaching reading specifically for individuals with dyslexic spectrum reading difficulties. Typically a student can now learn to read and write in 4 weeks.
I have also put significant work in to developing specific programs to get successful results with students with Aspergers. I have developed a number of new programs for specific school issues such as the Primary to Secondary school Transition, Expression Club™ for dyslexic learners to keep them on top over summer months, Dyslexia organisation workshop, Maths Orientation studies for Dyscalculia, Supporting students at home with Aspergers through homework and a Purple Pre-School Success™ program to start dyslexic spectrum students ahead in reading and writing before school. I have currently been putting a lot of work into developing new theories for working with students with Auditory Processing Disorders and Dysgraphia.
Dr. Naoisé O'Reilly Expression Developist™
Divergent is making waves in popular culture with the release of part one of the hollywood movie trilogy inspired by Veronica Roth’s books. This follows the mammoth success of The Hunger Games starring academy award winning actress Jennifer Lawrence.
There are two main themes in Divergent. The first is that it is bad and possibly even fatal to fit into more than one aptitude. The second major theme relates to growing away from your parents.
In Divergent’s futuristic world it is seen as threatening to fit into more than one faction made up of five temperaments which are selfless, peaceful, honest, brave and knowledgeable. It is difficult to compare this directly to personality theory as it is generally regarded that there are in fact sixteen types of people in the real world.
However, this does compare to our four defined learning styles which are the ways that people take in information from the world. Our four categories of psychological profiling methods include auditory, visual, practical and kinesthetic.
All of the students we work with that do not fit in a box and struggle in school have what we call multiplicity. This means, like in Divergent, they have all four aptitudes. They are quite often overwhelmed by the amount of information they absorb from all environments. Multiplicity is what people commonly see as “clever” and “intelligent.” All of our ideas of cleverness and intelligence come from people who can absorb ideas quickly and have a multitude of interests. This is where we break away from the norm.
Multiplicity is drilled out of children in school by age fifteen. Only a very small percentage of the older students we meet have still retained their natural multiplicity. They are quite often seen as “freaks.” Some of them were very heavily medicated before working with us for just having too much energy or being too “distracted.”
In the film Divergent the main character takes an aptitude test at the age of sixteen. This is true to school life. There have been some pretty hilarious conversations within our team about what they were told at sixteen. The Senior D.N.A. Geneticist on our team was told at sixteen that he would never be any good a science.
This brings us to the second main theme in the film and the challenges the main character experiences when she realizes that she cannot follow her family. She does not easily fit into their faction and this is a real life experience for many of our students. Children really struggle when in their teenage years they appear to have nothing in common with their family and parents don’t understand them.
In many cases the students we work with have just simply skipped a generation in aptitudes and personality. It is quite often revealed that they are much more like their grandparents and great grandparents. A mother or father can feel that their children have nothing in common with them and this can also be the case in partnerships where there are children from different relationships.
We work with adult clients in the business world in their late thirties too who had struggled to find their path in life. Having attempted the career path of their parents they have not fitted in. They quite often do not feel any real support or understanding from home about who they really are.
The good news is that it is perfectly alright to be divergent and movies like this can only help to shine a positive light on psychological profiling and our ongoing research in the area of personality types and achievement. Anyone who works in personality theory does so because they have an overwhelming desire to help people find out who they really are and wish to help them to succeed.
Dr. Naoisé O'Reilly & Marie O'Riordan
You may be under the impression that there is not a lot in common between business people and students. So, compare a 10-year-old dyslexic student who has specific failing points in school to a company about to close. One of the first things they have in common is that they feel blocked in and the world is telling them everything they are doing wrong. They both have lousy reports, feel like they are running out of time and they appear to be putting in huge amounts of effort for very little results.
Now compare a 13-year-old student enjoying new life experiences and demands to a business also having a sudden growth spurt. The teenager is suddenly part of a much bigger organization of sorts. They have many skills to learn and new teachers to understand. We can easily compare this to a business that has abruptly grown with new employees, new products, new research and a lot more people to manage.
Also compare a 15-year-old exam student who has done great and is heading for the final stages of school to a multi million dollar project that needs a very targeted strategy. You are swiftly deciding what skills you need for your career, which subjects you are going to take forward and how you are going to get there. With a multi million dollar project you are effectively making all of the same decisions.
You could start to compare a 17-year-old exam student’s overwhelming workload and study schedule to a company that dramatically finds itself in the media spotlight in a positive manner. Both can quite easily start to hyper ventilate and panic. We have worked with companies whose telephone lines melted down under the strain and staff were not able to get an available line out of their offices for over a week.
At this stage we wish to point out why life coaching is a waste of time. Life coaching does not work, cram schools are a waste of money and 99% of private tuition is a very short term solution. Continuity is vital to sustainability and you must pick up the juggling balls and be prepared to help directly long term when needed, not just at the start.
We profile the elements that matter and create methods around them. Like how people tick, what they need now and how they need it. But what is more vital is the strategy that goes with it. We work with a cross section of people aged from 18 month old toddlers to 72 year olds. They are from hundreds of different backgrounds worldwide, stages in life and business varieties.
We are strange in that we take on clients for life. It is very rewarding to start working with people when they are 10 and now I am introducing them to their first real world business internships at 16. Our stories are no less dramatic in the business world. When we have gone in to restructure companies that were about to close the doors we still support their growth several years later. They got out of the red but went through growing pains and we are still needed as a safety net.
Many people say things like “with success comes new challenges and with age comes new issues” but life coaching, cram schools and most private tuition is just short term crisis management that never sticks around long enough to help long term.
Much of our success is down to developing methods that allow us to profile people. Take the 5-year-old with language development issues, the 15-year-old with asperger’s syndrome and the 45-year-old’s business and family issues. In all of these types of cases we get sonic speed results because we focus on what they need right there and then. There’s a development path so it is a combination of understanding timescales and our Purple Success™ methods.
Here is a limitation that we have found with traditional education system teachers around the world. All of our team have been on specific career paths so they can actually write a letter of introduction for a job or a course for a student but most teachers have never done this and most career guidance teachers do not actually have business careers. Also, schools do not teach goals and goal setting and you are not going anywhere unless you have a goal to achieve. The real golden nugget is to continually set new goals.
Dr. Naoisé O'Reilly & Marie O'Riordan
I was delighted that the kindle version of the ADHD book I'm part of was launched last week in the US - according to them I'm one of the experts with proven results they searched the planet for!